I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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