I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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