i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
