Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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