i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
