Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
