Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize