dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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