HIV tests are more positive than that guy
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
