Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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