Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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