thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
