I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
