i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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