never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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