That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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