Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
