Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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