I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
