take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize