I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
