Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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