so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
