their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
