We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Small penises have feelings too.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
