Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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