fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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