The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
