i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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