look no pants
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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