Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
