so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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