is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
try to milk me bitch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
