If i come over, it means nothing
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
