you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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