Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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