i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
