Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
