bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
