i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
