I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
