i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
