how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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