My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
