i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
