someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
