Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
