Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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