i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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