guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
