Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
