he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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