but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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