She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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