Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
